FIRST VACATION! Red River Gorge, Kan-Tuh-Keee!

The whole famdamily headed out to a remote cabin high in the hills of exotic KY to spend a few days hiking and enjoying nature in Red River Gorge National Park. Here are a few candids.



Hil: "That tree is red."
X: "Thanks mom."


We're in a secluded cabin in a dry county. How the hell did X get his hands on 'tucky shine, and why didn't he share with mom and dad?

Searching for Tower Rock trail head with Xavier strapped to my chest. Mosquitoes must be following this blog, as a wide berth was given to our traveling party.


Trust building exercise. Dad closes his eyes and holds faith that infant son will safely guide him around the crevasse. We only fell once.

There are many obstacles in life that one must climb over. Then there are the obstacles you just pretend to climb for a campy photo op. The photo above is definitely the latter.

Father and son photos taken moments before I chucked his butt to the bottom of our King of the Hill boulder. Sorry son, but the name of the game isn't "kings" of the hill. It's singular for a reason. That reason: there can be only one. Tough love kid. Maybe next time.

Little guy is completely passed out.

How are there no hats that fit me?
Sleepin' in pop's arms at the Devil's Canyon overlook.

Mixed species family photo at Angel Windows arch formation. Only non-business end photo of Estelle that we were able to capture.

Full human family photo. The cabin was located at the top of a narrow ridge with an amazing view from nearly every angle of the wrap around deck. Spectacular views even on a foggy morn.

Ohio 82nd Airborn

Damn you mutant mosquitoes in our yard! Why are you still alive? It's autumn for God's sake! Why is it that after 637 skeeter bites I've only actually seen four of you damn beasts? Do you have cloaking devices? If you only came after me it would be one thing... but now you've come after my family, and it's war. Just look what you cowards have done to my son!


Twice you attacked his head. Twice. How did you know that this is his Achilles heel? It's the #1 spot where I cannot slap you away. Where do you flying zombies get your intel? How are you so damn organized?! Let it be known, if the next cold snap doesn't do you in, expect napalm.

Three Months Old

Victory Vomit

X has been rolling from his belly to his back for quite a while, but he finally figured out how to roll from his back to his belly. As you can see by the spit up, he was bursting with...pride. Once he finally figured out how to finagle his way past that bottom arm, he was off to the races. Back and forth, forth and back...this is how we spent our day. Practice makes perfect, he says.

The first rule of Slappy Hands is...

THERE ARE NO RULES IN SLAPPY HANDS. Xavier took full advantage of the first rule of Slappy Hands during our last round when he kicked dad in the chest. Here he is, stretching while mom brings up the house lights right before our throw down. Seriously, during warm ups he cracks his knuckles like he's freakin' Bruce Lee



GO TIME.


It's all in good fun, but it's hard not to get caught up in the heat of the moment. Jebus as my witness, he just about tore off my finger.



Fistfull of arm hair, baby sleeper hold. It's how we roll. Another quality match where everyone wins.

Wait...These are MY feet???

First Day Away From Mom & Dad

So today was X's first day away from both Mike and me...as you can see, he was just devastated. I think we missed him WAY more than he missed us. He had fun all day hanging out with his cousins, James and Kara.

I will come at you with the thunder!

Excuse me, is that my giraffe in your mouth? Seriously. I know this chick didn't just shove my own private slice of Africa in her maw. Really though, please take it out, you're absolutely soaking it.



OK. Here's how this is gonna go down. Get my psychedelic giraffe out of your mouth by the time I count to three, or I will unleash Mr. Right Fist and the hell that comes with him. If you're lucky, I'll only come at you with my left. Please, you're my cousin... I don't want to hurt you. 1... 2... 3.



Kiiii Yaaa!


I'm sorry it had to come to this. I love you cuz, but a line was crossed today.



Alright already! You can put your arms down! It's an ancient art used only for self defense. Geez! Just keep your gums off my animal and we're cool.

Two Months Old

Now that's a great grandmother!

Baby X spending some quality time with GG VN.

Rattle Clatter Thunder Shatter Boom Boom Boom

Super rattle fun time.

My Diaperconda don't want none unless it's from your buns son

My son made this. Yup. It's one of the things he does best.

WHERE IN THE HELL ARE WE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELVES?!

My son's appropriate reaction. This should be everyone's natural response to their first outing at the soup, salad, and breadstick churning machine known as the Olive Garden. A mixture of attraction, horror, and dumbfounded awe. How am I supposed to explain to my son why daddy has just ravenously devoured seventeen buttery salted carb sticks chased by eight bowls of gnocchi soup. How do I expect him to grasp the concept of the entree when I'm too full to eat mine when it arrives? What lesson is to be learned from watching dad try to distract mom in order to steal her Andies mint? And shouldn't half of these customers be wandering the aisles of Walmart? Confusion and gripping terror.

Check Out These Neck Muscles Ladies

Looks like all my tummy time is finally paying off! I can hold my head up for over a minute now. I even surprised my mom and dad and rolled over onto my back twice trying to get out of tummy time. No dice.

One Month Old Already!

Feral Child

Tracked this little devil for three days before we finally caught his scent. Hil got him in her sights and pumped him full of enough tranq to drop a full grown male rhino. He is now caged and awaiting transfer to the Cincinnati Zoo. Don't let his docile appearance fool you. If he could he'd kill you and everyone in your family with no remorse. Some mammals can't be tamed.